19 November 2009

f-bomb at church.

I had an interesting conversation with some ladies at work today that involved us talking about inappropriate, unusual, but funny things that happened at church.

Let me just cut to the chase…

Our church doesn’t have pews, only chairs. One Sunday, after services they were having an event at the church that needed all the chairs put away. So everyone started stacking chairs and loading them on rolling carts, I happen to catch a finger in between the chairs I was stacking and let out a loud and perfectly enunciated F*CK. Immediately about 10 to 100 heads turned my way (I couldn’t count I was avoiding looking at anyone) and I calmly, as if nothing happened, gathered my things off the floor and headed to pick up my kids from their class. Thankfully, this was an adult service and there were no kids around! What’s really odd is that the f-word isn’t usually my go-to “ouch” word, I’m more of a d*mn-it girl. I know that when you have to resort to profanity it shows your ignorance, but sometimes the only word that really expresses the emotion you’re feeling is ****. (Sorry Mom, I know you’re proud.)

One of the sweet, quiet ladies I work with also let the f-word fly, not quite at church though. She happened to get pulled over on the way to church. She knew she wasn’t speeding because she never goes over the speed limit, so couldn’t understand why she would possibly be getting pulled over. It ended up being nothing, just a license plate tag mistake. After getting flustered and realizing she was going to be late she called her sister at church and said, “I’m going to be late, I got pulled over by the f-ing police!” Whoops!

Another lady had a nice clean story about Easter Sunday. Their church was having problems with the audio system and the Audioman (That guy that wants to be on stage but just is too tone deaf/uncoordinated to, so he helps with the audio) came running up to help and tripped up the stairs leading onto the stage and slid spread eagle across the stage. She said that no one could help but laugh. What really got me going when she was telling us this story, was that her dry-humored husband whispered to her, “I thought that boy was gonna take off.”

I would love to hear some of your inappropriate, funny church stories, if you have any please share them with me.

All laughing aside…I felt awful about using profanity in church, I hit my knees hard that day asking for forgiveness. I know that it’s just a building but it’s also God’s house when we’re worshiping there. It felt like I had negated the worshipping that I had just done.


  1. Oh ANGELA MARIE!!! you know that's what is so Awesome about our God, He loves us and accepts us just the way we are, we are ALL sinner's, He has forgiven us through Jesus, so yes I'm sure it was quite embarrasing, but anyone that said anything about that slip up should shrug it off and say, "Praise the Lord He has forgiven us before we even speak"

    Although I don't have any funny story's about church, I have had that moment when I feel like scooting down in my chair and hoping no one heard, when Bailey has said...quite a few time's..."Mommy is Pastor Sid done already?" quite loudly!!!

  2. Angie, I have one...Dean's friend Alan went to church on Easter sunday in Fl. at one of the larger churchs down there. His wife signed him up to drive one of the golf carts from the parking lots to the front doors. He was kinda of mad at his wife for signing him up but did it anyway. The first people he picked up was a dad, mom, and two little girls dressed in their Sunday best. He said mom and dad seat in the middle and the two girls in the back.Alan said he was going a little too fast and the first turn he made the two girl fell off the golf cart and rolled down a hill. The dad started cursing ( four letter words)at Alan, the two girls were okay but their Easter dresses and little white gloves got dirty. The pastor asked his wife to never sign him up for anything again. Keep up your writing , you do have a gift.