10 May 2011

news flash: you don't have to have children.

Mother’s Day sucked this year.
I know it’s just a Hallmark holiday and I shouldn’t get caught up in feeling unappreciated in the thankless role of motherhood…BUT…I completely gave up my body to my children for over 3 years! I found out I was pregnant with “thing 2” while I was weaning “Thing 1” and then I breast fed “thing 2” till she was roly-poly and growin’ teeth! That little bit is only the tip of the iceberg on being a mother.
I am so thankful for being blessed with my 2 crazy babes, but I sometimes wished that someone would have pulled me aside and told me that I didn’t have to have children.
Growing up in the Midwest you get a feel for what your life is “supposed” to look like.
Matter of fact, if you are a 30something married couple, living in the Midwest, that hasn’t had children yet, someone is looking at you thinking that something must be wrong with you. They think:
Maybe something is wrong with his/her plumbing? or even
She/He must have some emotional issues…
But I am here to tell you my friend; You do not have to have children to have a completely fulfilling life here.
Being a parent is not the life completing role that everyone makes it out to be.
And, it shouldn’t be.
Those of us that have children feel so much pressure to make sure that we are doing everything that we can to make sure we are raising our children right that we have a tendency to make them the center of our lives. (Myself included here.) Making the role of parenthood out to look like the most significant thing we do here on earth.
Honestly, I personally don’t have much more energy left for anything else.. 

But I want to be a good friend to those of you in this world that haven’t decided to have children yet but may still be feeling the pressure:
Life can be wonderful and fulfilling to completely throw yourself into whatever feels significant and worthy of your time and not produce children just because society makes you believe that that is the next thing that you have to do. You can make an impact on this earth in so many different ways, please know that you have so much to offer this world, without adding children. Know yourself first and put your energy into what will be best for you and it will be fulfilling,

18 February 2011

counting down the days...

 These fair weather days are such a tease!
I can't wait to be outside playing in the dirt again.
Oh to be the size of this ant crawling through these Peony petals!

The spring countdown has begun...
30 days from today!
80 days and these beauties will be in full bloom!

16 February 2011


Last night I hit the post work,  DEFCON 1 (War is imminent) the moment I got in the car to drive home.
I realized that:
1. I was late.
2. Peyt's basketball uniform was dirty.
3. I still had to stop at the dreaded Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
4. The pork chops for dinner were still frozen.
I pulled my number at the BMV (#101 and they were on #89) and began my war plan. I called home and told my son to get his uniform from Saturday's game out of the hamper and have it ready in front of the washer. I mentally went through the refrigerator and determined that I had enough turkey for 2 sandwiches and a few odd leftovers.
45 minutes later I am $300 poorer and irritated by the WITCH ignorant woman that waited on me.

I am one stubbed toe away from a complete sob-fest.

When I walk in the door I can hear the washer running upstairs. My little man gives me a hug and tells me he put his uniform in the wash (and he did it correctly!) and then he says, "Mrs. J. brought us dinner."
I ask, "Why?"
He says, "To thank us for driving (her son) to basketball practice this year."
Oh My! Now I nearly AM moved to tears.
This beautiful angel of a woman brought my family dinner as a Thank you.

I have done "Baby Dinner" and "Funeral Dinner", but I've never thought to do "Thank-you Dinner".
Jina J. has inspired me! I will be paying this thoughtful blessing forward and hopefully will save another mother from an impending sob-fest.

On a side note, I am head-over-heels for my little boy right now. As a parent we go through those stormy patches every now and then, but right now we are smooth sailing with a strong tail wind. After school tonight, Peyt called me and said, "Sorry we're a few minutes late calling you, but it is beautiful outside! Addi and I found a Ice waterfall by the drain and we were mesmerized over it! Can we ride bikes today after you get home?"
How cute is that? Sweet to sister, used the word mesmerized, and can't wait to play outside!