test dummy.

I am such a sucker for good advertising.

New household cleaning products are my favorite vice. I don’t even know what I’ve been missing until the great commercial comes on with the beautifully dressed mom in full “going out” makeup and pearls using some new product that makes cleaning up so easy. I also drool over health and beauty products, all the beautiful faces and bodies without a blemish or wrinkle in sight. We’ll pay big money to keep us young.

My most recent new product purchase could go into the health and beauty category. This product had clinical trials that prove improved posture, tighter legs and butt, and tighter abdominals. What could possible do this? The ugliest shoes you could ever imagine!! ~Sketchers’ Shape Ups~ I couldn’t help myself, I saw them in the store and they only had two styles, ~ugly white moonshoes~, and ~ugly black moonshoes~, I had to have them!!! I tried them on…and believe it or not they got even uglier, somewhere between a geriatric support shoe to an 80’s moonboot. Still had to have them!!! So I bought them, when the check out girl took them out of the box to check the size in each one she looked up and caught my eye. I felt I had to explain…to praise what wonderful shoes these were going to be…I don’t think she cared. Needless to say I grabbed my bag as soon as I could and rushed out of the store ashamed of paying so much for shoes that I shouldn’t wear in public. I had a plan as to where I could wear them, I work in a lab, wear ugly scrubs and lab coat daily, and so I could easily get away with adding some crazy footwear with that. My husband thought I was insane for buying them and told me I had better wear them. So Monday morning I tied them on… about a half hour into wearing them I have one foot that feels totally numb! I had to untie it, take it on and off, and retie it multiple different times before it felt okay; I’m thinking this is a real quality shoe here. I then went about my busy day, about 7 hours into wearing them I notice that I am leaning against the counters a lot and sitting down as often as I can. You can’t really lean back on your heels, you have to stay up on the ball of your foot and toes because of the shape of the shoe (there is no real heel to them). By the time I get into my car to head home my left calf feels like it’s shaking and it has a knot in the muscle that I reach down and rub at every stop light. Even after getting home and removing the shoes I am rubbing my leg all night! I start to worry that maybe somethings wrong, so I do a little web search on leg pain and come to the conclusion that maybe I have a blood clot in my leg. I know I’m probably over reacting but if anything happens I could be in a comma, like that E.R. episode with the red head from Sex in the City, where she knows everything going on but she can’t talk and tell the doctors what to do. So I tell my husband that I could have a blood clot in my leg and if something happens to me while sleeping tell the doctor that I may have had a blood clot in my leg. He doesn’t know how to handle me sometimes; he seems annoyed and told me to go to the emergency room. I tell him I’m sure I’ll be fine and head to bed. Well, I slept it off, by the morning my leg feels fine and I tied on these dang shoes again today. These shoes had better do what they advertise; I want those tight legs, butt, and abdominals! I’m just afraid that after this is all over I’ll have messed my feet up so much that I’ll have to wear “special shoes” that could look just like these.

I’ll keep ya updated.