darkness has settled.

When my life is like a storm,

Rising waters, all I want is the shore.

You say, I’ll be okay and make it through the rain.

You are my shelter from the storm.

I know many that have endured unimaginable storms in life with grace and strength. I don’t have that strength, I feel easily broken and I’m ashamed of this weakness.

Easter is a reminder of loss to me. Starting with the phone call in the middle of the night before Easter and then the entire timeline of uncertainty, hope, grief, and anger plays out again for our family. Just like yesterday, I know what I felt each day, I remember the doctor’s face, I remember the kind nurses’ words, I remember what we were wearing, what we talked about when we weren’t sitting in that hospital room, I remember watching the monitors in her room as they alarmed and then slowed until they were turned off, I still feel the disbelief, and most painful, my children’s pain at hearing that their Grandmother was gone.

Now, a week after that memory haunted me, we had to put our dog to sleep. Is it normal to feel the loss of a pet as the loss of a family member? His unconditional love and trusting eyes as we told him good bye has torn open my heart.

Darkness has settled over me like a storm.

God, bring the rain. Let it pour over me and wash this all away.

what happened to march?

Whoops! I was surprised to see that I had only 1 blog post for the month of March. I even had the nerve to fuss at my cousin about blogging more often (Sorry Libby!) while I had completely neglected my blog.

The last month has been crazy busy with all members of my family running in different directions.

Baseball season is upon us again! Thankfully the weather has cooperated and Trevor and Peyton have been able to get a lot of practices in already. Peyton is playing on two teams again this year; one is with the little league and the other plays on Sundays and an occasional weekend tournament. Some of my closest friends are also “Baseball Moms” and I can’t wait to sit in the sun and catch up with all of them.

Addi has been rehearsing for the school’s production of High School Musical (junior). She is very excited and has practiced singing all the songs over and over and over again. I am so glad for her, but I don’t know if I can sit through another production of High School Musical without bleeding from the ears. I suppose I deserve the punishment because when I was 8 I knew every word to the Annie musical (including dialog) and my parents never knew when I would break into Tomorrow (Broadway style, of course: belted out with arms spread wide, just like Annie would have sung it to Roosevelt.). Addi is also gearing up for her dance recital next month, she happens to be doing a tap routine to You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile, for those of you that aren’t up on your Annie trivia that song is from Annie. You gotta love karma.

I spoiled myself this month. When looking back at my calendar I noticed that at least once a week I had a girl’s night out. The first weekend, I took a trip back to visit my parents and had a night out with my two best friends from high school. We had so much fun reminiscing and laughing that I think we scared off an older couple that happened to be seated near us. Week two I had a “baseball moms” night out, if I remember correctly I monopolized the majority of our conversation by whining about work issues (it was a long hard month). Week three was a pitcher margarita night with my good friend Rachael, we were going to go to a movie but the bottom of that pitcher was really strong, so we just sat and talked.

Week four I had my new book club meeting. It was so grown up {wink}, I loved it. I served potato soup and salad and then we had our group discussion about our book (Water for Elephants). During dessert we had a group vote on our next book (Sarah’s Key) and then discussed all the other good books we had read lately. We decided that we need to start a list of suggested reading because we had each read so many good books lately. I feel so lucky to have found this group of ladies that offer their very thought provoking perspectives. My brain was humming with their thoughts all throughout the week.

I have also been hard at work training for the Mini-Marathon (Indianapolis’ half marathon) I have a great training schedule that has slowly worked me up to 8 miles. On Tuesday and Thursday I do 2-3 miles and then on Saturday I have a longer distance to complete. I added in a cross training class that I go to on Saturday mornings that is a lot of fun! Although, I did have an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction involving my sports bra, thankfully the guy behind me that got an eyeful hasn’t been back to class {blushing}. At the suggestion of my good friend, I am now wearing double layers of sports bras!!!

There you have it, that’s my entire month in a nutshell… I am going to try to push myself to try to put out one blog each week this month. {fingers crossed} We’ll see!

hot in herre (sang Nelly style)

After this L-O-N-G, and very cold winter we can all use a little help thawing out this year. I think I may have just the thing…

Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce (or rooster sauce)

This Asian hot sauce is the condiment of the year (according to my beloved bon appetit) it is made in southern California from sun dried chilies and can be used in or on anything edible.

Yum.

My gifted gourmet sister came up with this little stack of heaven, which incorporates the Sriracha sauce, after we ate something like it on vacation. It tastes just like summer it has this de-lish fruit/pepper salsa that balances the spicy seafood perfectly…mmmmmm

Jenny’s Seafood Stacked Tostada

1/2lb Shrimp (small, 41-60 count)
2T Sriracha Sauce (Spicy, adjust to taste)
1 large Avocado
1T fresh Lime Juice
6oz Lump Crab Meat
4 Tostadas

Salsa:

1/2C finely diced Green Apple
1/2C finely diced Mango
2T finely diced Cilantro
2 sliced Green Onions
1/4C finely diced Green Pepper
1/4C finely diced Red Pepper
2T fresh Lime Juice

Topping:

2T finely diced Cilantro
1T fresh Lime Juice
1/4C Sour Cream
Combine salsa ingredients and set aside. Combine topping ingredients and set aside. Cut avocado into 4 equal pieces and toss in lime juice to avoid browning. Grill shrimp until cooked thoroughly. Let cool and toss in sriracha sauce. Dice shrimp if needed.

Using a 2inch tube, fill with layers of avocado, shrimp, 1/4C salsa, lump crab meat on tostadas and remove tube. (If you do not have a tube, a metal can with both ends removed works well!) Drizzle with sriracha sauce