Broken Muzzle

news flash: you don't have to have children.

2011-05-10T17:14:00.000-04:00

Mother’s Day sucked this year.

I know it’s just a Hallmark holiday and I shouldn’t get caught up in feeling unappreciated in the thankless role of motherhood…BUT…I completely gave up my body to my children for over 3 years! I found out I was pregnant with “thing 2” while I was weaning “Thing 1” and then I breast fed “thing 2” till she was roly-poly and growin’ teeth! That little bit is only the tip of the iceberg on being a mother.

I am so thankful for being blessed with my 2 crazy babes, but I sometimes wished that someone would have pulled me aside and told me that I didn’t have to have children.

Growing up in the Midwest you get a feel for what your life is “supposed” to look like.

Matter of fact, if you are a 30something married couple, living in the Midwest, that hasn’t had children yet, someone is looking at you thinking that something must be wrong with you. They think:

Maybe something is wrong with his/her plumbing? or even

She/He must have some emotional issues…

But I am here to tell you my friend; You do not have to have children to have a completely fulfilling life here.

Being a parent is not the life completing role that everyone makes it out to be.

And, it shouldn’t be.

Those of us that have children feel so much pressure to make sure that we are doing everything that we can to make sure we are raising our children right that we have a tendency to make them the center of our lives. (Myself included here.) Making the role of parenthood out to look like the most significant thing we do here on earth.

Honestly, I personally don’t have much more energy left for anything else..

But I want to be a good friend to those of you in this world that haven’t decided to have children yet but may still be feeling the pressure:

Life can be wonderful and fulfilling to completely throw yourself into whatever feels significant and worthy of your time and not produce children just because society makes you believe that that is the next thing that you have to do. You can make an impact on this earth in so many different ways, please know that you have so much to offer this world, without adding children. Know yourself first and put your energy into what will be best for you and it will be fulfilling,

counting down the days...

2011-02-18T17:28:00.001-05:00

These fair weather days are such a tease!
I can't wait to be outside playing in the dirt again.
Oh to be the size of this ant crawling through these Peony petals!

The spring countdown has begun...
30 days from today!
80 days and these beauties will be in full bloom!

gratitude.

2011-02-16T18:11:00.014-05:00

Last night I hit the post work, DEFCON 1 (War is imminent) the moment I got in the car to drive home.
I realized that:
1. I was late.
2. Peyt's basketball uniform was dirty.
3. I still had to stop at the dreaded Bureau of Motor Vehicles.
4. The pork chops for dinner were still frozen.
I pulled my number at the BMV (#101 and they were on #89) and began my war plan. I called home and told my son to get his uniform from Saturday's game out of the hamper and have it ready in front of the washer. I mentally went through the refrigerator and determined that I had enough turkey for 2 sandwiches and a few odd leftovers.
45 minutes later I am $300 poorer and irritated by the ~~WITCH~~ ignorant woman that waited on me.

I am one stubbed toe away from a complete sob-fest.

When I walk in the door I can hear the washer running upstairs. My little man gives me a hug and tells me he put his uniform in the wash (and he did it correctly!) and then he says, "Mrs. J. brought us dinner."
I ask, "Why?"
He says, "To thank us for driving (her son) to basketball practice this year."
Oh My! Now I nearly AM moved to tears.
This beautiful angel of a woman brought my family dinner as a Thank you.

I have done "Baby Dinner" and "Funeral Dinner", but I've never thought to do "Thank-you Dinner".
Jina J. has inspired me! I will be paying this thoughtful blessing forward and hopefully will save another mother from an impending sob-fest.

On a side note, I am head-over-heels for my little boy right now. As a parent we go through those stormy patches every now and then, but right now we are smooth sailing with a strong tail wind. After school tonight, Peyt called me and said, "Sorry we're a few minutes late calling you, but it is beautiful outside! Addi and I found a Ice waterfall by the drain and we were mesmerized over it! Can we ride bikes today after you get home?"
How cute is that? Sweet to sister, used the word mesmerized, and can't wait to play outside!

the godfather

2011-02-14T17:38:00.000-05:00

After sitting through the Sex & Sexuality Talk at church with my parents I got to thinking about when I was a young, boy crazy girl trying to date under my parent’s roof. It brought up many good memories of my parents. My Mother was a lady of the 70's that never wanted to spare any detail from us (kids) and told us more than we ever cared to know. My father was a proper man of the 60's that acted like he was producing the show To catch a predator. This is a peek into one of the funnier moments my father's overprotective nature resulted in.

My Dad is Italian so his disposition is that of a hot headed, red faced, loudmouthed, arm waving, crazy man. In truth, he is as soft as pudding inside and would give us the world if he could, but as a teenage girl I mostly saw him as an overprotective ogre. We actually nicknamed him "the ogre" and he gladly accepted it with a chuckle.
He was the kind of father that would send us back upstairs to change when he saw what we were trying to wear out of the house. He wanted to see swimsuits tried on before he would purchase them. He would confiscate albums that were purchased with our own hard earned baby-sitting money because the lyrics were not appropriate. We were allowed 1 night a week out and it couldn't be Saturday because we would need to be awake and ready for church on Sunday morning.
With three girls in the house my Father had to take a strict stance on dating.

The rules were:
No dances or dates until we were over 16.
He had to meet the boy before we could go out and it could not be right before we left the house with said boy.
He had to know exactly where and what we were doing. "Hanging out" or "Cruising" was not allowed.

Once a boy I was crazy about stopped by with his friend. My dad opened the door, took one look at his 19 year old moustache and said, "No, she is not available." and shut the door in his face. I was humiliated and spent that entire night bawling into my pink, rose covered bedspread. I held a grudge for weeks over that, but knew that there was no changing my Dad's opinion, so I moved on.

Some kind of joke started going around about my Dad being in the Mafia, I think this was the moment that started:
I was going to homecoming with a "friend". (Who was actually really cute and I liked him and was hoping for homecoming to change things for us.) As per the rules, he had to come over and spend some time letting my father grill him. He came over on a Saturday afternoon. We had lunch together as a family. Finally when it was over, the young man had soccer practice that my Dad was going to drop him off at. Somehow, I ended up sitting in the backseat of the station wagon and the poor boy was sitting up front with my dad. My dad is talking the entire way....saying things about the dance...when he would expect me home...ect. We pull up to the practice field and my dad leans in and grabs the back of this boys neck with his huge ~~ogre~~ Italian hand and pulls his head closer, and says quietly, "I love my daughter more than you ever will." long pause "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" The boy says, "Yes, I do."
My face is beet red. I stammer, "Bye" and jump into the front seat.
When we get home, I run into the house the moment we pull into the drive to tell on my Father to my Mom. I gave my father the "You don't understand high school!" cold shoulder for the next couple weeks, but he really didn't seem to notice.
I went to the dance with the boy and we stayed "friends".
A couple weeks later, I was flirting with another boy and mentioned that he would have to stop by and meet my parents before I could go out with him and he says, "I heard your Dad is in the Mafia or something?"

Ha, Ha. Very funny Dad.

My father has mellowed so much with age. I understand now, as a parent, he was doing his best to protect his girls from the dangers of 17 year old boys. (I could say a lot of inappropriate things about 17 year old boys here, but am going to use a little restraint so that I don't get myself arrested. You know you're thinking it too, so don't look at me like that!)

Anyway, happy Valentine’s Day young lovers!

a little bit uncomfortable

2011-02-10T17:26:00.000-05:00

This weekend my parents are coming for a visit.
WooHoo!
I can't wait to hang out with them, I miss them so.
They are even planning on going to church with me Sunday.
This makes me a little anxious. I know that my parents love and respect the decisions that I make for myself, but the church I grew up in and the church I attend now are very different.
I went to a conservative church.
Same format every Sunday:
3 ACAPELLA songs
Prayer
Communion
Offering
Sermon
2 ACAPELLA songs
It still feels like home when I walk in the door of that church. It is constant and safe.
We did not have a band at church.
People stayed in their pews.
No one got excited and jumped up and down or yelled AMEN.
The church for me and my family now is a little different.
My church is LOUD and there is a band (with instruments). People get a little wild sometimes.
I hope my parents enjoy the service. I hope they feel as renewed as I do every week. I hope they feel close to God while worshiping.

Last week I worked in one of the KidZones during service so I didn't know what the service would be about this week. I got the midweek email this morning with the lesson title...

The Sex & Sexuality Talk.

Perfect. My parents are going to think I'm a heathen and they may petition to take my kids.

not keeping it in perspective.

2011-01-25T17:06:00.004-05:00

Murphy’s law mandates that the moment I open my big mouth, he will come for a visit.

I don’t want to be overly dramatic here, but I feel that I have lost a necessary appendage.

Last night, after I posted my little rant about iTunes addiction, my iPhone died.

I got a text from my girlfriend, closed the text window, put my phone in my pocket and when I pulled it out later the screen wouldn’t wake up. I put the phone on the charger and…nothing. I tried a variety of other things but nothing worked. I decided to bravely face this challenge as if it were “no big deal”. I got out my old school LG Vu, switched over my card, and voila working phone.

BUT today, in the light of day it IS a BIG DEAL!

I use that dang phone for everything. I don’t even keep a real calendar anymore (I could be missing an appointment right now!); it’s all in my phone. I am crazy about “to do” lists and I think I had about four different ones saved in my notes, along with an ongoing grocery list, a to-read list, and random other personal things that I can’t remember right now. I also have gotten very used to certain apps: one that I record weight, intake, and exercise (It’s just not worth it if I don’t get to see the hard work in black and white) also the weather channel (app) has me checking the weather before I even get up and I often don’t even turn on the morning news anymore, but just check the top local news stories. Don’t even get me started on not being able to play Mancala, Angry Birds, Diner Dash, Solitaire, or that Bubble popping game. I then {big, heavy sigh here} had to dig out my old iPod that hasn’t been synched in awhile because I have to be able to “tune out” during the day (I know, boohoo- poor me). Lastly, my contacts have changed since I had my old phone and let’s face it no one memorizes phone numbers anymore, soooo if I don’t call for a few weeks send me a text with your contact info.

I will be getting my phone fixed soon.

Right after, I get my washing machine, dishwasher, garage door and car fixed. It’s been that kind of week people! I’m too entrenched in the stress of those things all breaking at once to discuss it right now, but I’ll fill you in later.

where's my meeting?

2011-01-24T17:08:00.002-05:00

Hi, my name is Angie and I'm an iTunes junkie.
It's been 8 days since my last download and I'm thinking of things I want to download right now.
I started slow. Just an occasional download when I was charging my iPod, but then it slowly progressed to me cruising the iTunes store while waiting at a red light.
My family has tried to get me to stop, but now I've come to deleting the statement before anyone else can see it.
I had an eye opening moment when I set my iPod to shuffle and I had to keep advancing to the next song because no one really sits and listens to songs from the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack.
I'm ashamed and I don't know if I can stop.

the end is near.

2011-01-20T18:19:00.001-05:00

On my way into work this morning, I was listening to a man being interviewed on the radio. It was a celebrity.

He was talking about how he was preparing for the end of the world next year.

Just stop and let that statement marinate for a second.

Preparing?

I thought he was joking until he said, “I read a lot of scientific papers from scientist that prove the continents will be splitting up next year.” (Yes, that is a direct quote. I double checked and he did say, “Scientific papers from scientists”)

Well, there you go.

World will be ending.

He went on to clarify that some people will survive; I assume he is planning on being one of the survivors. He also stated that if the Mayan people knew that the center of the universe was a black hole then we have to give credit to their theory that the earth will have a polar shift which will result in the earth’s crust displacement.

Hmmmm, sounds very scientific (hee, hee).

I believe he is getting this all from the movie 2012, although I have not seen it, so I cannot confirm this.

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you how he was preparing…Stockpiling frozen food.

Yep. Because if the continents do split up, I’m sure he’ll still have electricity to keep it all frozen.

As for me, I will not be preparing for any cataclysmic polar shift/continent split up. I’ve seen enough Zombie movies to prepare for anything and know that you just grab a backpack, a gun and run.

For those of you that don’t get my humor in this, I am making fun of someone for basing his plan of action on a movie, while planning mine also on movies. (Probably not as funny as I think it is, but it’s my blog and I’ll decide what’s funny, or not here.)

(september) irish festival

2011-01-20T17:46:00.001-05:00

This was from September, but I thought would share.

Baby Viking is learning some hurling. (I think, that's what it's called.)

I'm no expert, but I think his and her matching skirts is probably a NO.

Love, Love, Love the bagpipes and drums, also this guy swinging his baton rocked.

Who can pass by this sign and not want to stop for stew?

Isn't he cute? Wish the chair next to him was free.

Apparently these girls are so synchronized that they even blink together.

Addi and Mady (my friend's Brian & Sarah's little one) were running around like wild girls.

Sarah with her cutie Jake hiding. Seriously, aren't those curls adorable?

I don't even know where to begin on this...is this a work kilt? Could you imagine this guy up on a ladder or repairing a fence?

Good times.

(november) Veterans concert

2011-01-08T16:21:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that I tend to be a little emotional. To say I wear my feelings on my sleeve is a gross understatement, I tend to hold my emotions in the palm of my hand ready for any moment that they could possibly be needed. It's embarrassing and probably difficult for the people in my life to deal with. I had a recent event at Addi's school that could have been pretty embarrassing for me (and the family with me) but I held it together. Too bad I was the one holding the camera though! The combination of patriotic music (which always gets my eyes leaking) and the sweet baby voice of my little girl (That is growing up way too fast, it's killing me) was the perfect emotional storm that I had to implement old Lamaze breathing technique to keep it together. Needless to say, no one knew that I wanted to bawl, but the video is a bit shaky. Addi has the second little solo. Enjoy.

my list.

2010-12-29T18:48:00.016-05:00

A bucket list sounds like a good concept.
A list of all the wonderful things in this world that you want to do....someday.
Before it's too late.
But what if you don't have the time to get to your list (often times our exit from this earth is sudden). OR, what if you get sick and all those things that you thought would be fun to do just aren't possible.
The reality of getting sick is it's expensive, you feel the need to sort out "details" for those that you will be leaving behind, and you feel sick.
The only thing left to do is spend time with those people you love.
We need LIFE lists. Lists that we will do now.
I wrote myself a list... It's my 40 by 40 list.
Forty things I will strive to achieve before turning Forty.
My List:
1. Get Published.
2. Start a book club.
3. See Mt. Rushmore.
4. Plant 100 tulip bulbs in my yard. I can’t wait to see those all pop up one spring morning!
5. Get to my goal weight. (135)
6. Go on a cruise.
7. Take a vacation with just my sisters.
8. RUN a 10K (without pit stops).
9. A weekend away with each child by themselves, NO DISTRACTIONS!
10. Visit New Orleans.
11. Birthday cards to everyone in my family, ON TIME!!
12. Give the perfect handmade Christmas gifts. (Rrrrrrr…so many good intentions that have flopped!)
13. Go on a whale watching tour. (Hopefully, Alaskan)
14. Spend an entire week in complete silence.
15. Put on Ice-Skates again. (A long time ago this was my thing, I’m afraid I can’t do it anymore.)
16. Enter something I’ve made in the State Fair.
17. New Zealand. (Maybe to stay) (If I can convince my ENTIRE family that we’re all moving.)
18. Learn to play guitar. (I guess guitar hero doesn’t count)
19. Sing Karaoke.
20. Have a formal Portrait taken. (The one that they’ll hang at my memorial service when I’m old and wrinkled)
21. Interview my Grandfather.
22. Interview my Grandmother.
23. Drive a paid off vehicle for a year.
24. Go on a Mission Trip.
25. Stay at one of the historic hotels on Mackinac Island.
26. Learn (or just try and then sit inside and watch other people) to (snow) ski.
27. Introduce a non-believer to my Lord and Savior.
28. See Wicked.
29. Take some management classes.
30. Have a bike with a basket on the front. (Had one once and I miss it.)
31. Get LASIK eye surgery.
32. Actually make one of the many genius recipes that I “think” I have in my head.
33. Pay off my credit cards!!!!
34. Go off trail with a map and a compass in the forest, maintains, or somewhere untamed!
35. Have a closet full of clothes that I actually wear.
36. Learn a second language.
37. Take adult dance classes.
38. Someday work for something or someone that makes my heart soar….could be on my 50 by 50 list…or my retirement must do list…
39. Help someone fulfill a life dream.
40. Organize (and print) my family photos.

As many of you know, I've already gotten to check off quite a few of these. I know some things sound kind of dumb and (maybe) impossible, but this is my list...and sometimes I achieve "dumb and impossible"!

So get out and write yourself a list. It can be a 40 by 40, 11 in 2011, or anything else you can think of...just as long as you're living it.

i (will try to) love winter.

2010-12-21T18:45:00.001-05:00

I hate to be COLD.
So, me and Winter don't get along so well.
Today on the first official day of Winter (even though we have already had 14.5in of snow) I will focus on the wonderful things winter brings us.

1. The silence of falling snow.

2. Static hat hair. (ONLY on babies!)

3. The warmth you get deep down in your belly with the first gulp of a hot drink, after being out in the cold.

4. The breathtaking beauty of bare tree limbs coated in ice.

5. Sledding, ice-skating, and building snowmen.

6. The warmth of the kitchen after hours of baking (can only be truly appreciated during winter).

7. The combination of watching falling snow while sitting by a warm fire. (the cheesy fire/ice combo)

8. (I'm starting to struggle here.) Wearing those favorite old soft sweaters.

9. The way that fresh snow can make even the ugliest yard beautiful.

10. Seeing the little puffs of your breath.

THAT'S IT.
I wanted to get to 10 and that was all I could manage. Maybe next year I'll have more.

Happy first day of Winter.

pushing away the dust.

2010-12-21T17:19:00.001-05:00

I know it's been a little while since I've updated my blog, but I've been out ~~blogging anonymously about all my misadventures to complete strangers~~ living in the moment. Also, my computer has become no man's land overloaded with pictures and documents that I need to move...somewhere...in my "free" time. Makes it not so fun to sit and blog when I have to push through that jungle. The next couple of blogs may be totally random, but for me to sort through all those old documents and pictures y'all will have to hear about them. Besides it could be nice to talk about my favorite flower (Peonies) during the dead of winter.

aye, aye, aye (or: stop the ride, i'm gonna throw up!)

2010-05-07T00:34:00.000-04:00

My schedule is INSANE right now. I have just about every single minute of every single day scheduled out with a waiting list of "stuff" that needs shoved in if I happen to have any cancellations.
SUCKS.
We are short staffed at work for the next 8 weeks and after searching high and low for a PRN employee and even trying to talk a girl into a little cross training we are floatin' down the river with only half a broken paddle.
I started going in early to get our day started off right and it's taking me a l-o-n-g time to adjust. I have a terrible time forcing myself to go to bed.
I have always had "Mommy time" from 9 to 11pm after I got the kids to bed and I can't seem to give it up yet. So far, I go and go until I have an involuntary shut down.
For example: Last night, I was going to try to catch up on email because I have a very strict email system...
New mail, has to be dealt with that day.
Old mail, have up to two weeks.
Saved mail, anything that will need longer than two weeks.
I think other people should adopt this...I can't stand it when Ms D (yes you!) opens her email and in her inbox she has over 200 email...that is ridiculous!
Getting back to the point...I fell asleep sitting up while my mail was opening!!!
FELL ASLEEP!
That is also ridiculous.
One interesting observation about going in early, I have confirmed that Starbucks does indeed put crack in the coffee. I have walked in at 5:15am and my girl was all "Hey girl, You want a nonfat, no whip, white mocha this morning?" really loud and HAPPY! Who remembers their customer's order and smiles at 5:15am?
Crack dealers...I tell you.
Also, If you have to go in before 6:00am stop lights are optional. There are some that are flashing yellow and you don't even have to slow down for those...but the normal kind that goes from yellow to red you can just slow down a little and drive on through.
This morning, somebodies Grandma pulled up next to me at a red light and looked both ways, smiled at me and drove through the red light.
Crazy Grandma. I guess it's just a perk of having to get up early.
Saturday is the half marathon!! I will be picking up my race packet tomorrow night. Also, one of my coworkers is throwing a post mini party with a little hot tubing and refreshments. I am really excited...I don't care how I do this year just as long as the "bus of shame" doesn't get me. Wish me luck!
p.s. It's late, I'm tired forgive my grammar/spelling errors.

circus training.

2010-05-06T23:20:00.000-04:00

My children have been so lucky to experience many different exciting activities. One of my favorite activities to watch happens to be...JUGGLING.

I know that sounds kinda crazy. I don't know anyone that would get pumped up about going to a juggling show. When my kids first told me about Juggling Masters at their school, I remember thinking, "As long as I don't have to watch." It proved to be one of the most energetic, entertaining events at their school.

The Kinesiology teacher (That's right, the kids don't call it P.E. or gym anymore. They say K-lab or Kinesiology lab) comes in before school three days a week during the winter months and teaches the kids how to use all kinds of juggling/balancing equipment. They all start to learn with scarves because they fall slowly to the ground. After they have the patterns and tossing techniques down they move on to other equipment like bean bags, rings, and clubs. In addition to that they learn how to use mystics, spin plates on sticks, walk on stilts, ride unicycles, and my personal favorite the Diabolo. Their performance is very high energy. Matter of fact, when the music starts, the kids enter the gym from two different doors, run straight at each other, then into a tight circle and then they have musical cues to tell them when to start juggling.

They also have music cues to know when to stop and run to get their next piece of equipment, it's a lot of crazy running.

There were some major collisions, but the kids jumped back up and acted like nothing happened! As they say, "The show must go on!"

I'm just thinking...if the whole college thing isn't a good fit for them they could always join the circus.

skies are clearing.

2010-04-15T13:46:00.003-04:00

I would be lying if I didn’t tell you how badly my fingers itched to delete my last post.

I forced myself to leave it alone and reflect on it. I thought about why I started blogging: to keep in touch with family, as my creative outlet, as my own personal “soapbox”, and most important to journal my day to day life.

I can’t deny what is true and real. I may be embarrassed at how dramatic I was, but that was an honest open look at the sorrow in my soul that day. It certainly didn’t help that a particularly bad patch in my life coincided with a “hormonally unstable” time of the month resulting in a perfect storm of depression.

We all have our flaws.

Some may have a crazy mole that sprouts occasional hairs on their chin that they keep emergency tweezers with them for this said hair. Or, the occasional depression that rolls in faster than a spring storm.

Thankfully, I have a sweet sister that calls me up and says, “Where are those emergency tweezers (or “happy pills”), babe you need some help.”

I will be leaving that last post right where it is, just in case someone needs it.

I hope that if someone reads it they will see that other people are like them and find comfort in it. Or even, “Wow, that girl is much more unstable than me. I think everything is going to be okay.”

It’s alright to not be perfect all the time, the point is to recognize your weaknesses and know how and where to seek help for them. The people that matter will still be there when you get back up and dust yourself off.

Thank you family and friends that offered prayer and kind words, I know the strength and peace in my soul is because of you. I feel loved, stupid chin mole and all.

darkness has settled.

2010-04-13T16:30:00.002-04:00

When my life is like a storm,

Rising waters, all I want is the shore.

You say, I’ll be okay and make it through the rain.

You are my shelter from the storm.

I know many that have endured unimaginable storms in life with grace and strength. I don’t have that strength, I feel easily broken and I’m ashamed of this weakness.

Easter is a reminder of loss to me. Starting with the phone call in the middle of the night before Easter and then the entire timeline of uncertainty, hope, grief, and anger plays out again for our family. Just like yesterday, I know what I felt each day, I remember the doctor’s face, I remember the kind nurses’ words, I remember what we were wearing, what we talked about when we weren’t sitting in that hospital room, I remember watching the monitors in her room as they alarmed and then slowed until they were turned off, I still feel the disbelief, and most painful, my children’s pain at hearing that their Grandmother was gone.

Now, a week after that memory haunted me, we had to put our dog to sleep. Is it normal to feel the loss of a pet as the loss of a family member? His unconditional love and trusting eyes as we told him good bye has torn open my heart.

Darkness has settled over me like a storm.

God, bring the rain. Let it pour over me and wash this all away.

what happened to march?

2010-04-08T06:30:00.003-04:00

Whoops! I was surprised to see that I had only 1 blog post for the month of March. I even had the nerve to fuss at my cousin about blogging more often (Sorry Libby!) while I had completely neglected my blog.

The last month has been crazy busy with all members of my family running in different directions.

Baseball season is upon us again! Thankfully the weather has cooperated and Trevor and Peyton have been able to get a lot of practices in already. Peyton is playing on two teams again this year; one is with the little league and the other plays on Sundays and an occasional weekend tournament. Some of my closest friends are also “Baseball Moms” and I can’t wait to sit in the sun and catch up with all of them.

Addi has been rehearsing for the school’s production of High School Musical (junior). She is very excited and has practiced singing all the songs over and over and over again. I am so glad for her, but I don’t know if I can sit through another production of High School Musical without bleeding from the ears. I suppose I deserve the punishment because when I was 8 I knew every word to the Annie musical (including dialog) and my parents never knew when I would break into Tomorrow (Broadway style, of course: belted out with arms spread wide, just like Annie would have sung it to Roosevelt.). Addi is also gearing up for her dance recital next month, she happens to be doing a tap routine to You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile, for those of you that aren’t up on your Annie trivia that song is from Annie. You gotta love karma.

I spoiled myself this month. When looking back at my calendar I noticed that at least once a week I had a girl’s night out. The first weekend, I took a trip back to visit my parents and had a night out with my two best friends from high school. We had so much fun reminiscing and laughing that I think we scared off an older couple that happened to be seated near us. Week two I had a “baseball moms” night out, if I remember correctly I monopolized the majority of our conversation by whining about work issues (it was a long hard month). Week three was a pitcher margarita night with my good friend Rachael, we were going to go to a movie but the bottom of that pitcher was really strong, so we just sat and talked.

Week four I had my new book club meeting. It was so grown up {wink}, I loved it. I served potato soup and salad and then we had our group discussion about our book (Water for Elephants). During dessert we had a group vote on our next book (Sarah’s Key) and then discussed all the other good books we had read lately. We decided that we need to start a list of suggested reading because we had each read so many good books lately. I feel so lucky to have found this group of ladies that offer their very thought provoking perspectives. My brain was humming with their thoughts all throughout the week.

I have also been hard at work training for the Mini-Marathon (Indianapolis’ half marathon) I have a great training schedule that has slowly worked me up to 8 miles. On Tuesday and Thursday I do 2-3 miles and then on Saturday I have a longer distance to complete. I added in a cross training class that I go to on Saturday mornings that is a lot of fun! Although, I did have an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction involving my sports bra, thankfully the guy behind me that got an eyeful hasn’t been back to class {blushing}. At the suggestion of my good friend, I am now wearing double layers of sports bras!!!

There you have it, that’s my entire month in a nutshell… I am going to try to push myself to try to put out one blog each week this month. {fingers crossed} We’ll see!

hot in herre (sang Nelly style)

2010-03-03T15:57:00.002-05:00

After this L-O-N-G, and very cold winter we can all use a little help thawing out this year. I think I may have just the thing…

Sriracha Hot Chili Sauce (or rooster sauce)

This Asian hot sauce is the condiment of the year (according to my beloved bon appetit) it is made in southern California from sun dried chilies and can be used in or on anything edible.

Yum.

My gifted gourmet sister came up with this little stack of heaven, which incorporates the Sriracha sauce, after we ate something like it on vacation. It tastes just like summer it has this de-lish fruit/pepper salsa that balances the spicy seafood perfectly…mmmmmm

Jenny’s Seafood Stacked Tostada

1/2lb Shrimp (small, 41-60 count)
2T Sriracha Sauce (Spicy, adjust to taste)
1 large Avocado
1T fresh Lime Juice
6oz Lump Crab Meat
4 Tostadas

Salsa:

1/2C finely diced Green Apple
1/2C finely diced Mango
2T finely diced Cilantro
2 sliced Green Onions
1/4C finely diced Green Pepper
1/4C finely diced Red Pepper
2T fresh Lime Juice

Topping:

2T finely diced Cilantro
1T fresh Lime Juice
1/4C Sour Cream
Combine salsa ingredients and set aside. Combine topping ingredients and set aside. Cut avocado into 4 equal pieces and toss in lime juice to avoid browning. Grill shrimp until cooked thoroughly. Let cool and toss in sriracha sauce. Dice shrimp if needed.

Using a 2inch tube, fill with layers of avocado, shrimp, 1/4C salsa, lump crab meat on tostadas and remove tube. (If you do not have a tube, a metal can with both ends removed works well!) Drizzle with sriracha sauce

a wednesday miracle.

2010-02-24T18:46:00.000-05:00

I don't mean to brag, but...even after getting caught at work for an extra half hour:

Dinner is ready (in the crock-pot).

A fire is going in the fireplace.

A second load of laundry is in the washer.

The dusting is finished.

One bathroom is clean.

The carpet has been vacuumed.

Mr. Bublé is singing to me on the stereo.

An open bottle of Merlot is breathing on the counter.

I am a domestic goddess. I am a domestic goddess. Do you think if I click my heels together it will stick?

What a wonderful evening!

update: ugly shoes

2010-02-10T10:04:00.001-05:00

*Sorry about that last crazy long rant about home repair…I passionately hate home repair projects. Today’s post should be short and sweet…

I have officially discarded the Ugly Shoes (AKA: Shape-ups). After wearing them for 3 months I don’t see any significant changes (that would be attributed to the shoes) in the posterior region of my body. I also haven’t noticed any improved posture, still my slouchy self. I think the sore calf muscles I had the first day of wearing them could have just been from breaking in a new style of shoe. I would suggest, take that money and pay for a few extra months at the gym and work it off the old fashioned, sweaty way.

past her prime (my house).

2010-02-09T19:49:00.004-05:00

Today is the babes first snow day of the year.
As I headed toward the stairs (in the dark, so as to not wake anyone) I hear from the boy, “Did it snow?”
I reply, “Yes, no school, go back to sleep.”
He yells, “YES!”
I roll my eyes, considering how hard it is to get him to wake up or even answer me when I shake him and say his name on any other morning.
I hit the road, heading to work and can't believe school was canceled for the little bit of snow we had this morning.
I get to work and …work, work, work…then I get a call from Mr. Bailey…
Apparently, after showering, the vent (upstairs) leaked water on him. When he looked up at the vent, he noticed that it was slightly discolored and wet on the ceiling next to the vent.
He tells me he needs my assistance tonight when I get home to climb up into the attic to have a look…RRRRRrrrrrr
I am MAD!!!
It never fails that whenever I think we are heading into smooth sailing I realize I have a hole in the boat!
I have a recent history with home repairs that I had posted earlier last year…

Titled: Murphy (as in Murphy's Law)

I have a squatter. I don’t know how he got in, but I know he’s here. He may have lived here as long as I have. I started to see signs that he was in my home a while ago, my memories have gotten a little fuzzy about when it all began. I believe it all started with a dead mouse. In the wall. I could handle a dead mouse on the kitchen floor or maybe even my bed room; after all, I have two rambunctious dogs known for killing baby bunnies. But no, it was in the wall. Our options were to wait out the smell or start punching random holes in the drywall. It really smelled. That poor little mouse never got the proper burial he deserved. I didn’t understand at the time that Murphy was responsible for this mouse in the wall. Next it was the fancy smooth top, programmable electric oven that had its brains fried in an electric storm. Did you know you should unplug your oven during a storm? Me Neither! Murphy was really setting down the law now. Next it was the kitchen garbage disposal that had sprung a leak. The smell was on a completely different plane than the little dead mouse. It must have been leaking for a good week under our sink. I still can’t buy the Febreeze scented Lysol that I used to clean up that mess. About the same time the beautiful windows that over look the pond and fountain that runs along the side of my house sprung a leak. Murphy must like that view as much as I do. I should rephrase leak to running water that had to have a bucket under it even if it was only sprinkling outside. The spring rains slowed enough to fix that leak and welcome summer in. Ahhh sunshine warming my skin and then warming my house. It was time to flip on the old A.C., but Murphy got there first. It was a hot 92 outside and a hotter 95 inside. I do not function well in the heat, it is UGLY. Let’s just leave it at that. We had to get that fixed right away; there are necessities that we have to provide for our children and pets. When we started to look at what needed replaced the furnace was so bad it also would have to be replaced…and they had to take out the water heater to get back in there so why not replace that also. At this point my blood is starting to boil. JUST FIX IT.

It looks like we won. How else could he get us? Enter the Christmas holidays, my house looks beautiful. We have the perfect tree that we cut in a nasty wet snow storm. The gifts are all wrapped, in advance, instead of on Christmas Eve. I was sleeping well at night…peace. My husband says I was sleeping too well. He says I was SNORING. Me? He grabbed a blanket and his pillow and headed down stairs. He didn’t turn on any lights as he walked down the stairs. When he reached the bottom he stepped into something cold, freezing cold. Our house was flooded. A pipe broke in the wall between the garage and family room. The garage was flooded also. Shiiioot. I took it in stride, I’ve been here before. I called the plumber, water restoration people, and insurance man and took care of business. So what, that we were only able to use half of our home on Christmas and the machines running in my house to suck it dry sounded like a jet was taking off. It was Christmas. Life goes on. So do you think I was surprised when my husband told me that there was water dripping from the downstairs bathroom vent last week? Nope. We consulted some experts who thought that it was just from condensation in the vent line. Sounded good to me. So this weekend when I decided to actually scrub the shower tile and not just spray it down with Tilex and rinse, I noticed a crack in the grout. Hmmmm. I stuck my fingernail in the edge and pulled just a little. Pop, pop, pop. Off came three tiles, easy, and its wet back behind there. Damn you, Murphy. I hate your laws and want nothing to do with them.

Anyway...by the magic of the internet I have now examined the area in question and it appears to indeed, at one time, had some sort of moisture there, but now everything is completely dry.
Hmmmm...
Think I'll run out and pick up some duct tape and a bottle of wine before the next wave of snow hits.

In other home repair news, Last night we had Jared from White Oak come and do an estimate for new windows and a sliding back door for us. After he was finished with his sales pitch he wanted us to sign a contract for his "special (don't tell the neighbors this deal) price" and went a little crazy slamming his display case around my kitchen when we wouldn't sign. He also wouldn't give me a copy of the estimate?! If you have had any windows done, please email me who you did/didn't like.

i’m listening to: Addison Road

2010-02-08T23:06:00.002-05:00

So, my friend, Rachael casually mentioned one day that she found this really awesome band that she thought I would like named Addison Road.

I was all, “Cool…I’ll have to check them out”, thinking…I won’t remember.

But, for some reason that name stuck (maybe because I have an Addison living in my house) and I looked ‘em up…and I LOVE (all caps!), LOVE, LOVE, this band.

It was late night, I was cruising the i-tunes store and only listened to one or two of their songs and knew that I would love this album so I downloaded the whole darn thing.

Couldn’t be happier…it was a wise purchase (I seem to think all purchases are wise though)!

Some of you may already know this band; I believe they were on tour with Mercy Me last year.

One of their songs, Hope Now, is my new life mantra song (seriously)…I try to listen to it often and remind myself who is in control of my life. Two of my other favorite songs (Casualties and All That Matters) put this reality into perspective and remind me what a shallow society we live in.

Go have a listen here.

wee babes.

2010-02-04T15:04:00.002-05:00

Oh how sweet they are...

My aunt just sent me this picture and it really took me back.

Addi was so hard to keep on that chair, she was just starting to toddle around and was always on the go. Her little face always had a little crinkle nosed smile. I truly don't remember her crying ever.

Sweet Peyt looked so grown up but was only 2 when this picture was taken. He was such a wild and crazy little guy, he had knocked out his front tooth and had stitches over one eye already. He didn't have that front tooth for the next 7 years!!

Such sweet little ~~monsters~~ babes...almost makes me want a few more...

random thoughts.

2010-01-22T15:50:00.002-05:00

A few random Friday thoughts…

1. A Fried bologna biscuit (really?) at Hardee’s….that is disgusting. Someone could die from that.

2. If you absolutely HAVE to do “business” at your place of employment (You know what I’m talking about), PLEASE go to the dark abandoned basement bathroom that no one ever uses. Seriously, those stalls aren’t sound proof and I just about barfed today!

3. I am officially addicted to vitamin water but am worried about overdosing on vitamins…Today I drank two VW essential, so that is 500% of my recommended daily Vitamin C and then couple that with the Women’s One a Day vitamin I take every morning…I think I may just turn Orange! Or something?!

4. I am so very tired of these grey skies! I can’t even remember the last sunshiny day I saw…and it’s making me blue.{insert frowny face here}

5. Tonight I am going to a Lia Sophia jewelry party!!! Nothing like a little bling (and Champagne punch-I hear) to cheer up this girl.

6. Sunday, I will be getting together with my little theater group for our 2010 theater membership. This is one of my favorite nights! We have dinner and watch a great show (this month we will be seeing the foreigner) and laugh like crazy girls…I can’t wait!

7. I started a new book club. We will be reading Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen and meeting on Monday, March 22 for dinner and discussion. For those of you that live out of town, feel free to read and discuss with me via e-mail. (I’m lookin’ at you little sister!)

8. And lastly…If you run into my Fairy God Mother, tell her to get her wand over here because I have some wishes I need granted! See #4 the “blue” part.

Have a wonderful weekend!

if the shoe fits...

2010-01-18T13:26:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite fashion decades was the 1940’s.

This was a time that women became more daring with their style. Dresses were fitted through the waist to show more of that classic hourglass shape of a woman, hose had that sexy seam down the back of the leg and shoes transformed from the functional & sturdy to a feminine, sexy, fashion statement.

Anytime I find something 40’s inspired I can’t resist admiring it, so when one of my favorite on-line shopping sites added a dress line that is all 1940’s inspired I literally swooned!

I have looked at these dresses over and over again, trying to decide which one I want. As I looked, I fell in love with the classic T-strap pump that a lot of the models are wearing and decided I had to have those shoes immediately. So I began my on-line search for the perfect pair.

Any girl that likes a good pair of pumps knows that there is a thin line between trashy and classy when it comes to heels. So finally after weeding through all the trashy I came to a pair I LOVE.

I wanted to show my husband while he was online looking at golf clubs and he said, “I don’t need to see them, if you like them just buy them.” (Also know as…Please don’t make me look at girl stuff)

Hmmmmm…sounds like I got the green light!

Maybe I should tell him they were $595 PRADA; after all, he won’t be able to afford those new golf clubs he was looking at.

Just kidding…I’ll keep looking for another perfect pair of T-strap pumps. (If you find any, let me know!)

the committee of steroid abuse in baseball.

2010-01-12T18:27:00.000-05:00

I can not believe that Steroids in Baseball made headline news again today.

When I think about the waste of time and money that this issue has cost our country it outrages me. The Senate Commerce committee, a Grand Jury investigation, The House Government Reform committee and then a Subcommittee of the House Energy and Commerce committee have all played around with subpoenaing and listening to testimony on who WAS or WASN’T taking steroids…and of course, WHERE they got them.

I’m over it!

Don’t care who did or didn’t do it.

Honestly, we all know that the '98 home run race between McGwire and Sosa was the most exciting thing in baseball for a long time…raise your hand if you thought baseball players weren’t doing steroids then!!

Our government had no business wasting time trying to enforce drug testing and punishment guidelines on the MLB committee, there are so many other pressing issues for the government to deal with.

What a waste…

BTW Senator McCain, Do you really think all those National Football League players are just genetically superior human beings?

welcome, twenty-ten.

2010-01-11T16:06:00.000-05:00

When I sat down to write a list of resolutions for this year, the list kept growing and growing, every single facet of my life seemed to be in need of a little improvement.

I tried to narrow it down and think about what should really be important, but nothing came to the surface.

I started thinking about what it would be like to be able to keep all my resolutions, and thought that, by the end of the year I would be a completely different person!

What struck me was that children seem to pull it off every single year. When I look at the progression my children have made in the last year it amazes me. I can clearly see growth and maturity in every aspect of their beings.

Why can’t adults do that?

Is it Laziness? Stubbornness? Ignorance?

I don’t know what kind of growth and maturity I can achieve this year, but I’m going to aim big. I hope to look back on Twenty-Ten and be able to marvel at the child-like growth I’ve attained.

party planning 101.

2009-12-21T21:30:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school before winter break, and that means holiday party time.

But…

Things have changed since we were kids.

You can no longer bring in any type of home baked goods and everything has to be in the original packaging. The school wants the baking to be done by professionals so that no one ever accidentally gives kids food poisoning.

Also with food (and drinks) everything has to fall within the Healthy Food Guidelines. That means that the food has to meet the minimum nutritional value and not have sugar listed as the primary ingredient. I know that sounds simple enough but when you are looking at packaged snack foods it gets a bit difficult to find things that fit. So no more cupcakes (or pupcakes as my kids call them) or cookies at school parties! Which, I am okay with because I know my kids do just fine finding plenty of junk to eat.

Lastly, the party is called a Winter Party, not holiday party, and definitely not Christmas party. I am also good with this, I think it’s important to raise our children with an understanding and respect of different cultures and traditions and I’m happy to hear my children talk about different traditions that they have learned about in school. Just because they are in the majority of people that celebrate Christmas does not mean the the minority traditions are any less important.

It’s hard to come up with a fresh idea every time…I’ve done bagel party, fruit and cheese party, yogurt sundae party.

So as the planner for my son’s winter party I wanted to come up with a theme….kept thinking about winter…playing in the snow…hiking….winter survival. I decided to go with outdoor winter activities/winter survival. Personally, I thought this was genius because they had read the book Hatchet earlier this year and it is about a boy that has survived in the wilderness. So for my snacks I went with bottled water and make-your-own trail mix with dried fruit, nuts, pretzels, cheerios, & goldfish.

And then at dinner tonight my son tells me that they did this already this past fall.

Crap.

Oh, well. They’ll do it again.

At least I didn’t have to work around my daughter’s class allergies (nut, dairy, and gluten!) I better start thinking about that before the Valentine’s party that I’m doing for her.

'tis the season.

2009-12-14T21:01:00.002-05:00

It never ceases to amaze me how I always begin the month of December with plans of quiet evenings at home and end it with something written on every evening of the month.

I’m a mess right now….

As of today there are only 10 shopping days left till Christmas and I have bought ZIP (except for a few minor things online). I really don’t even know where to begin because my children’s wish lists read something like this…

1. Please help our family have a wonderful Christmas together.
2. Please have snow on Christmas morning.
3. For you (Santa) to have a safe trip around the world.
4. A good X-mas for my BFF’s Callie, Livi, Jackie, and Allison.
5. A puppy.
6. A Laptop.
7. Clothes (Both kids included their size)

Thank-You, we like your reindeer and will leave carrots on the back porch. Please sign here after reading this X___________

Their letters read like they’re written to a Fairy God-Mother. I’ve gotten to the point that I am asking all their friends’ parents what they asked for, hoping that it gives me some ideas. It serves me right…I remember the frustration my parents had with me never being able to write a wish list. I have a feeling I will be standing in the middle of Target hyperventilating on Christmas eve…still not knowing what my children could possibly want. I also still need to shop for the extended family and friends….I had really good intentions of making all kinds of homemade gifts for my people this year, we'll see…I’ll share what I did later if I can get it all done!

We did get a day of baking in, this past weekend. It was so much fun and well worth the mess of having to sweep up flour multiple times…Is it possible to have an icing high?! The only problem was I didn’t get to make my favorites (peanut-butter kisses) because I forgot the kisses and wasn’t heading out again. I picked some up yesterday and am hoping to get in one more day of baking.

This time of year is just crazy…sometimes I just have to stop myself and ask if what I am working so hard to get done is really that important? I heard once that you should ask yourself if what is important right now will still be important to you in 5 minutes, 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years from now. So many times I have found that those “important” things aren’t even important 5 minutes from now.

What do you do to keep yourself balanced and composed during the crazy holiday season?

at brownie camp...

2009-12-07T20:07:00.003-05:00

Over the summer 'lil AG went away to Brownie camp. When I picked her up she was FILTHY, she had visible dirt smudges all over and her pink and white shoes were solid brown. I had missed her terribly and wanted to know everything she had done. These are the only three things I learned:

1. She learned a new song that she sang over and over again until she fell asleep.
2. She cooked a "hobo dinner" in the fire.
3. She only needed 2 of the 6 pairs of underwear and 1 shower because they went swimming. (In a pond, hence the dirt smudges.)

I was disappointed with the lack of information she offered me but remembered how camp always went by as such a blur, I was just glad to have my baby back.

Needless to say, I was a bit surprised when out of the blue, almost 6 months later, from the back seat of the car I hear...

AG: This one time at Brownie camp (actual words!), this girl was sitting next to me at dinner and she started crying because she ate two hot dogs and she was a vegetarian.

Me: What? Did they look like hot dogs?

AG: Yes they did, she was just real hungry and she forgot she was a vegetarian.

Me: Normally people don't forget they're a vegetarian...

AG: Kids do. I think cooks should ask if you're a vegetarian before they give you meats.

I couldn’t help but laugh at this point...sweet, trusting little girl. She reminds me so much of myself at that age. She's got alot to learn about the lies kids tell before high school...

During the same car trip AG also told me that she saw Mrs. Santa Claus at Arby's with a broken arm.

a dull day.

2009-12-03T22:00:00.004-05:00

On Sunday we took our annual jaunt out to Dull’s Tree Farm. This is one of my favorite holiday traditions. This time of year always seems to be such a whirlwind of running and visiting family and friends (or shopping!) it's good to begin the holiday out in the country on this cute little tree farm.

When we arrive my babes grab a cart and head toward the trees in search of the biggest tree they can find. They both took turns sawing the tree, until they got tired. Their Dad took a turn and cut almost to the end but then let them finish the last cut through.

We loaded the tree onto the cart and the kids pulled it up the hill. There was a massive line to have your tree shook and tied but the weather was mild and there were lots of things to keep us busy…they had farm animals to feed, peanuts to eat, fire to warm by, and people to watch. After we had our tree checked-in we were off to play.

The Dull family has perfected the holiday experience with three buildings decked out in Christmas décor. My favorite is the wreath making barn, the delicious smell of fresh cut evergreen hits you as soon as you open the door. I love to just sit and watch the ladies making up the wreaths, they all seem to be enjoying them selves laughing and talking, it has the organized chaos feeling of your mother’s kitchen.

They also have a craft store (where you pay for your tree-so no avoiding it) my kids seem to touch everything in the store twice and we got out without anything broken, so I am happy.

The last stop is an Inn that has tables and chairs, a large stone fireplace, snacks and cocoa, and a stack of board games to play. This is my kids’ favorite spot; they seem to drag out drinking their cocoa for-ev-er.

After that, we just wandered around looking at things we had already saw until we all ended up by the outdoor fire and decided we were done for this years trip to Dull’s. It was such a fun day, when we climbed into the truck for the drive home I looked back at my children’s little dirty cocoa mustache faces and smiled.

This is what’s important, not what goes under that tree.

On a side note: Dull's is in a National contest to have one of their barns restored and painted. Please go to the following website to learn more about the contest and to vote for their barn. You can vote once per day per computer. The contest is sponsored by the National FFA and Campbell Soup. http://www.helpgrowyoursoup.com/barn_dull.aspx

group therapy.

2009-11-24T17:00:00.001-05:00

Last Friday, as soon as I sent the kids off to school I headed out of town for a girl’s weekend. I drove three hours south on roads that had 90° turns without warning, little or no cell service, and an "off the map" area that made my GPS lose satellite connection and the map spin around trying to figure out where I was. To a cute little cabin in the Hoosier National Forest right on the Ohio River. Even with very few leaves left on the trees it was beautiful.

This was the front porch, it was so cute but not enough sunshine to be warm enough to sit very long.

The back deck had enough sun though...

The dining room.

This wedge in the wall held up one side of the cabin. It had a severe slope to one side that required an adjustment period while you acquired "sea legs" that added an interesting twist to showering (and in my case just walking). I know that my little guy would have had a blast rolling marbles from one end of the house to the other. If you notice in the next picture the quiche that I baked had a visible angle to it.

The view from the hot tub.

The view from the other side of the cabin.

We all had such a good time laughing, talking, scrapbooking, crocheting, and reading. There were pictures of us but I promised that I wouldn't post them due to the lack of daily showering and changing clothes.

f-bomb at church.

2009-11-19T22:44:00.001-05:00

I had an interesting conversation with some ladies at work today that involved us talking about inappropriate, unusual, but funny things that happened at church.

Let me just cut to the chase…

Our church doesn’t have pews, only chairs. One Sunday, after services they were having an event at the church that needed all the chairs put away. So everyone started stacking chairs and loading them on rolling carts, I happen to catch a finger in between the chairs I was stacking and let out a loud and perfectly enunciated F*CK. Immediately about 10 to 100 heads turned my way (I couldn’t count I was avoiding looking at anyone) and I calmly, as if nothing happened, gathered my things off the floor and headed to pick up my kids from their class. Thankfully, this was an adult service and there were no kids around! What’s really odd is that the f-word isn’t usually my go-to “ouch” word, I’m more of a d*mn-it girl. I know that when you have to resort to profanity it shows your ignorance, but sometimes the only word that really expresses the emotion you’re feeling is ****. (Sorry Mom, I know you’re proud.)

One of the sweet, quiet ladies I work with also let the f-word fly, not quite at church though. She happened to get pulled over on the way to church. She knew she wasn’t speeding because she never goes over the speed limit, so couldn’t understand why she would possibly be getting pulled over. It ended up being nothing, just a license plate tag mistake. After getting flustered and realizing she was going to be late she called her sister at church and said, “I’m going to be late, I got pulled over by the f-ing police!” Whoops!

Another lady had a nice clean story about Easter Sunday. Their church was having problems with the audio system and the Audioman (That guy that wants to be on stage but just is too tone deaf/uncoordinated to, so he helps with the audio) came running up to help and tripped up the stairs leading onto the stage and slid spread eagle across the stage. She said that no one could help but laugh. What really got me going when she was telling us this story, was that her dry-humored husband whispered to her, “I thought that boy was gonna take off.”

I would love to hear some of your inappropriate, funny church stories, if you have any please share them with me.

All laughing aside…I felt awful about using profanity in church, I hit my knees hard that day asking for forgiveness. I know that it’s just a building but it’s also God’s house when we’re worshiping there. It felt like I had negated the worshipping that I had just done.

girl maintained.

2009-11-16T21:15:00.008-05:00

A girl and her beautician have a special relationship. The beautician is almost as essential to her well being as her physician. Nothing is better than fresh from the salon hair.

Recently I started looking into a new salon. Although I really liked my regular girl, she had become more difficult to get an appointment with. I spent one Saturday afternoon checking into the local salons that had good reviews.

One potential candidate really caught my eye because they were an Aveda salon, which means that all the products they use are flower and plant derived. This is especially important to me because I have very sensitive skin and I am always afraid of having some weird reaction to products that are used on me. The Aveda salon owner gave me a tour and spent about an hour with me, talking about the products they use and services they offer (the salon is also a spa). All looked good to me, so I scheduled an appointment.

It went wonderfully, they do this amazing neck and shoulder massage while talking to you about your hair, and then while they were doing my hair they had this delicious lavender smelling neck warming thing on me. I loved it. My hair looked super shiny and healthy after they were done. They even touch up your lipstick and rub your hands down with this great lotion before they finish with you... Ahhhhhhh, I was so happy and relaxed. The last thing I needed before I left was a quick wax and then I would be good to go.

The waxing didn’t seem to feel any different than any other time I’ve been waxed, until she put the aloe on my brows afterward and it burned!!! I looked in the mirror she gave me and they were red but not any more than expected. I left the salon happy and ran around the rest of the Saturday. Sunday morning I woke up and immediately knew that something was wrong with my eyelids.

They were swollen, burned and felt sticky to the touch.

Looking in the mirror confirmed my worst suspicion, while being waxed the beautician ripped off my eyelid skin.

Lovely.

I am now sporting shiny Neosporin eye shadow until they heal. It is painful being a girl.

Update: (18-Nov-09) I have received restitution for my less than optimal waxing experience in the form of a gift certificate.

house of cards.

2009-11-13T07:00:00.002-05:00

Often, the carefully built house of cards that we have around us comes falling down.

It could be that poor construction is what brings it down. We can only build on a weak foundation up to a critical moment. When you get to that point, no matter how many cards you try to squeeze in at the foundation they just won’t hold it all up.

Other times the people we think are helping us build our house destroy it by slamming a door so hard it reverberates throughout us and brings everything crashing down. Or even worse, carelessly throwing open a window during a hurricane just to bring it all down.

The cards mean so much to us. We have collected them along the paths of our lives. They are who we are.

Or maybe, just who we believe we are.

As I look around at all my cards lying on the floor, I see it as an opportunity.

It is time for me to start rebuilding. As I start this process I will be careful to make sure the foundation is strong and only built with the best cards I have. I will take my time to examine each card I have and only place the ones I am sure I want to keep and leave the ones I don’t laying on the floor. This house will be better than what I had constructed before, it will be stronger, more complete, and I will take the necessary time to build it exactly the way I want it.

I will be better, stronger, and more complete.

the blogs I can't write.

2009-10-01T19:28:00.004-04:00

Sorry that I've been neglecting you...I've missed you too.

Normally, I have a few things in my head that I want to talk about. Right now, I have many things I want to talk about.

But I can't.

They all seem to fall under the basic too personal to share rule. I need a few more days to work out some things in my head that I just can't seem to get past. Then, hopefully I will be back to my "sharing my opinion on everything" self.

define crazy?

2009-09-17T07:00:00.003-04:00

Once upon a time I was a young girl of 8-10 years old. I was a strong willed child and had discovered that when I spoke my parents actually listened to what I said and found value in it. So at times that I was in trouble, I began to refute my case every single time I possibly could. Every attempt at disciplining me became a battle of wits with me trying desperately to disprove my parent’s evidence of my wrong doings. As you can imagine, this began to wear down my parents and my dad finally said something once to try to stop the constant debate that I insisted on, something that has stayed with me to this day. I’m sure he was just an exasperated parent that wanted to smack some sense into my head, but it stuck.

Before I tell you what he said, I first have to give you the history. I have a crazy Aunt. Not just a little funny, we’re talking about major mental illness, hears voices, wants to shoot people for walking in front of her house, collects feral cats, and has inappropriate nakedness. Even as children we knew that Aunt P was different, we loved her anyway. She always had tons of Avon make-up that we played with (the really bright, loud colors) and her room was like a little girls treasure chest of dress up stuff (hats, feathers, & costume jewelry). We got some good laughs when she flirted shamelessly at a restaurant with the whole family sitting around her, we loved that she named her cats all kinds of silly things (e.g. fluffy butt because his butt was fluffy) and when she told us she wouldn’t wear bras because it could give her cancer. Our parents used to tell us what she was like before and it was like they were talking about someone else, they showed us pictures of a beautiful young woman that was a cheerleader surrounded by friends, a college graduate looking on to her future and also a bride ready to start her life with her husband. I couldn’t imagine sliding so far from the perceived normal to what she has become.

So, my worn down Dad threw his hands up one day and yelled at me. He said, “You have to accept responsibility for your actions, you’re acting just like Aunt P did, I don’t want you to end up like her.”

He got my attention. I may still have debated with him every now and then, but that statement was in the back of my mind. I began to really examine myself and wonder if what my perceived view of my actions and myself was accurate. I began to accept criticism to a fault, taking ownership of someone’s statement and replaying their assessments over and over in my mind. I second guessed myself in disagreements because I wondered sometimes if what I perceive to be right and true is really just twisted around in my mind. I think about what it’s like to be mentally ill. Does she know that she’s different from everyone else? I’ve grown out of some of these insecurities but still to this day I wonder if my moodiness is a sign of something to come. If someday I’ll just wake up and not be in touch with everyone else’s reality.

girl's best friend.

2009-09-08T10:02:00.005-04:00

I miss my dog. It was so hard to let him go.

Some of my favorite memories of Drew:

He loved to lay out in the sun.

Every first snow he ran around like a crazy puppy rolling and digging, he would look up with snow all over him and crack me up.

When he wanted our other dog to play he would grab a ball, hold it out the side of his mouth, run up to Griffey and stop inches from his face and then run back and forth the length of our yard hoping to be chased.

He once destroyed our kitchen floor, he must have gotten an edge and just went to town, we came home to a large hole in the middle and the shreds of floor around him.

We tried to lock him in the basement once and he ate half of the bottom step.

He accidentally got locked in our daughters bedroom and he dug into the carpet and pulled half the room up and then ate the carpet pad under it.

He had a fear of fireworks that would send him into a crazy run all over the yard looking for someplace to hide.

When he was scared he hid in the bathtub, it was funny to pull back the curtain and see him sitting there.

He would swim for hours in the pond and when he was too tired to swim he would walk the edge half in half out of the water not ready to call it quits for the day.

He was scared of feathers discarded in the yard by ducks and geese he would sniff and jump and then finally grab them in his mouth only to jump and try to spit it out.

He would greet us each morning and after work doing "scooby talk" he would go on and on Rrrr rrr rrrrr rrr, it was so cool.

He had a huge crazy grin.

He would never leave your side when you were sick. He would hear the garage door open and sit up straight and want to see who was home but would stay right by your side until you got up.

He would tuck himself next to me on the couch while I was reading and keep my feet warm.

He knew how to open the back door to our house and let himself out often, so I would constantly

be closing the back door.

He loved and protected our kids so much that he made an attempt at Grandpa while he was wrestling with the kids.

He was completely devoted to us.

the joy of parenting.

2009-09-03T20:28:00.001-04:00

Ahhh, the joys of being a parent.
It never fails to amaze me that right when I think I have my children figured out, the rug gets pulled out from under my feet and I’m wondering , “What the hell just happened”!

My son just turned 10 last weekend. I am so proud of the empathetic, smart, honest, and happy child he is growing into.

He also has developed a strong sense of integrity (10 year old style); he feels very strongly that if you make a promise to him you have to follow through. For example, last week when he had his sister swear to God that she would not tell on him for having his friend over before I got home, but she told on him, so he felt that it would be appropriate punishment to kick her in the head for “breaking a promise to him and God”. Also, I am so glad that he has become so confident in himself that (he gets this from his father) he feels the need to, one up everyone especially his sister… if she got a score of 560 he reminds her that at her age his scored 1200. My son also has a great sense of humor but sometimes goes a little too far for a laugh, like depantsing a classmate while they hang from the monkey bars.

It seems as a parent there isn’t really ever a coasting time, the checks and balances we have carefully placed are constantly needed updated, to ensure that our children stay on the paths that will help them grow into an adult. It seemed so simple when we started…love, food, shelter. It is so much more…but the love we get in return is invaluable.

tribute.

2009-08-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes people are lucky. They happen to turn the corner at the right time. They strike up a conversation with someone they normally wouldn't have. They accept a date even though they don't think the time is right for them.

Sometimes Love is pure, simple, completing.

I have witnessed this Love. It has been an inspiration and a puzzle. Is there such a thing as a soul mate? A person that binds with you like a second hand that you didn't know you had. Would we recognize this person if we came across them briefly? Would we understand the reward if we completely surrendered ourselves to this rare love.

The woman had a full life, day to day struggles were a heavy burden, and she was a mother and had a higher purpose than herself. The man may not have known what he was looking for, he was driven and had a set path for himself that he was focused on. It may not have been the ideal time in their lives to find one another, but when they came together they both recognized each other as their perfect fit. Their love was unique and they began to shine together. They lifted each other up and each accomplished many great things. Challenges that no normal couple would even consider, were easily achieved together. Small annoyances that would split a weak bond only made their bond to each other stronger. They both loved each other selflessly, just enjoying each moment they have together. They made each other so much better and have lived a very complete and fulfilled left together.

Margaret kissed her husband good bye for the last time last night. He was in so much pain and held on to his life as long as he could, Larry wanted to make sure his beloved wife would be alright without him. They both were completely focused on each other up to the very last moment.

Selfless. Pure. Complete. An Inspiration.

use it or lose it.

2009-08-26T11:46:00.000-04:00

That old adage that says, “You have to use it, or lose it” is so true! I can no longer hula hoop, double dutch jump, and a whole list of other things I’m just too afraid to try! I remember my sister and I doing penny drops (aka. cherry drops) at the playground (this is when you hang on a bar by your knees and swing…when you get high enough you let go with your knees and land on your feet!) all the time. I lived without fear of ever getting hurt…which could be why I’ve had stitches 5 different times. I still occasionally try things I shouldn’t, some of you recall earlier this summer when I wiped out TWICE on my son’s scooter. I’m afraid I’m getting old…and what if I lose it ALL!

So, a week or two a go, a woman I know through work talked to me about signing up to do the mini-marathon with her. For those of you that don’t live in Indiana, the mini-marathon is a kind of a right of passage here, everyone’s done it at least once and many friends of mine continue to run it annually. If you are too slow and go over the four hours of allotted time they pick you up in a bus-of-shame at the end. Really though, you have 18 minutes per mile…I could walk that if I had to, right?! And! They have a beer tent at the end for the participants, so I could be highly motivated near the end.

I signed up. (13.1 miles) I have from now till May 8, 2010 @7:30AM to get ready for this. Hopefully I can find a sports bra that will make it 13.1 miles without anybody getting hurt.

never a dull night.

2009-08-25T11:09:00.000-04:00

Just as I’m beginning to drift off to sleep I hear someone yell.

I sit straight up in bed, eyes searching the dark, heart pounding, and listen so hard I find myself holding my breath.

The moment I decide it was just something in my mind, I hear mumbling…I think I can make out a few words…get them…throw that…

It’s my son; he is up in his bed, sound asleep, flinging his arms around talking up a storm. I reach up and pat his arm and he seems to quiet down some. I'm not convinced that I won't be back again though.

He does this a lot; he seems to have a very active dream life. He’s had dreams about mutant Legos, snakes eating his dogs, dogs eating him, zombie parents; you name it, crazy stuff. I swear that I NEVER let him watch anything even remotely scary.

I remember the first time my husband and I knew he had some sleep “issues”, he was two (almost 3). We kept a gate across his doorway and he never climbed it, when he wanted out he would stand by the gate lean his head out the door and yell for us. One night we heard: Bang...thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump, my husband and I both jumped up and ran into the living room and flipped on the lights. Our child had a glazed over look of fear on his face and was perched up on the back of a chair trying to hold his legs up! We grabbed him and called his name but he was totally out of it. We just tucked him back into bed and he didn't remember a thing in the morning.

I hope he eventually grows out of this, I would hate to think of him out wandering the streets asleep when he moves out on his own. Maybe this will be the excuse I'll have to make him live at home forever.

fickle indy.

2009-08-23T22:09:00.000-04:00

Indy, you've betrayed me, I don't know what to expect of you anymore. When I came to you, I thought it would be familiar but also new and fun. It should feel like home, but lately I just don't recognize you.

In the fall, I expected a damp morning turning to a golden afternoon with the sun warming me, a cool breeze tickling the back of my neck. A moment when I think it's cooling down for good and I am blessed with a reprieve to shorts and sun kissed skin. I long for that warmth, for a gentle deliverance into a cooler time, I need it to slowly remind me of what's to come. Something changed last year, it wasn't the same, I didn't like it.

Along has come August and we seem to be headed into an unpleasent return of what happened last year. It should be hot. and dry. When I'm out, the wind that blows in my face should feel like hot expelled breath. My yard should be parched and desperate for water. Instead, you have turned a cold shoulder toward me, too cold, too fast. I need moderation and a slow change. I'm shocked and not ready for this. I sit outside with my arms wrapped around myself shivering. I don't know what has happened to change you. I long for the old days in my memories. I don't know where things are headed with us.

something wicked this way comes.

2009-08-21T22:58:00.000-04:00

My happy, funny adorable daughter gave me a glimpse into her future teenage years tonight.

On our drive home from running around all day she is tired and cranky and begins a 5 minute crazy tantrum that includes:

1. Her telling me that Daddy loves her and her brother more than he loves me.

2. Bursting into tears because she is thirsty and can't reach her drink.

3. Shredding a cardboard box and telling me, "I think I have an anger issue"

That's right 5 minutes. I can't imagine adding out-of-wack hormones to this fire.

test dummy.

2009-08-18T16:10:00.001-04:00

I am such a sucker for good advertising.

New household cleaning products are my favorite vice. I don’t even know what I’ve been missing until the great commercial comes on with the beautifully dressed mom in full “going out” makeup and pearls using some new product that makes cleaning up so easy. I also drool over health and beauty products, all the beautiful faces and bodies without a blemish or wrinkle in sight. We’ll pay big money to keep us young.

My most recent new product purchase could go into the health and beauty category. This product had clinical trials that prove improved posture, tighter legs and butt, and tighter abdominals. What could possible do this? The ugliest shoes you could ever imagine!! ~Sketchers’ Shape Ups~ I couldn’t help myself, I saw them in the store and they only had two styles, ~ugly white moonshoes~, and ~ugly black moonshoes~, I had to have them!!! I tried them on…and believe it or not they got even uglier, somewhere between a geriatric support shoe to an 80’s moonboot. Still had to have them!!! So I bought them, when the check out girl took them out of the box to check the size in each one she looked up and caught my eye. I felt I had to explain…to praise what wonderful shoes these were going to be…I don’t think she cared. Needless to say I grabbed my bag as soon as I could and rushed out of the store ashamed of paying so much for shoes that I shouldn’t wear in public. I had a plan as to where I could wear them, I work in a lab, wear ugly scrubs and lab coat daily, and so I could easily get away with adding some crazy footwear with that. My husband thought I was insane for buying them and told me I had better wear them. So Monday morning I tied them on… about a half hour into wearing them I have one foot that feels totally numb! I had to untie it, take it on and off, and retie it multiple different times before it felt okay; I’m thinking this is a real quality shoe here. I then went about my busy day, about 7 hours into wearing them I notice that I am leaning against the counters a lot and sitting down as often as I can. You can’t really lean back on your heels, you have to stay up on the ball of your foot and toes because of the shape of the shoe (there is no real heel to them). By the time I get into my car to head home my left calf feels like it’s shaking and it has a knot in the muscle that I reach down and rub at every stop light. Even after getting home and removing the shoes I am rubbing my leg all night! I start to worry that maybe somethings wrong, so I do a little web search on leg pain and come to the conclusion that maybe I have a blood clot in my leg. I know I’m probably over reacting but if anything happens I could be in a comma, like that E.R. episode with the red head from Sex in the City, where she knows everything going on but she can’t talk and tell the doctors what to do. So I tell my husband that I could have a blood clot in my leg and if something happens to me while sleeping tell the doctor that I may have had a blood clot in my leg. He doesn’t know how to handle me sometimes; he seems annoyed and told me to go to the emergency room. I tell him I’m sure I’ll be fine and head to bed. Well, I slept it off, by the morning my leg feels fine and I tied on these dang shoes again today. These shoes had better do what they advertise; I want those tight legs, butt, and abdominals! I’m just afraid that after this is all over I’ll have messed my feet up so much that I’ll have to wear “special shoes” that could look just like these.

I’ll keep ya updated.